Leadership can be isolating...but it doesn't need to be.
In this behind-the-scenes episode of Strong Leaders Serve, Teri shares her top piece of advice for leaders: stop trying to do it all alone.
Lauren and Teri also discuss the origin story of Strong Leaders Serve's definition of leadership, common misconceptions that Teri sees among leaders, and the value of community in helping leaders thrive. Discover how meaningful connections are crucial for resilience, growth, and adaptability in leadership.
And don't miss the special announcement about the launch of Leadership Thought Partners, a group coaching program designed to be a respite for you where you can learn through tackling real world challenges with a tight-knit group of compassionate, driven leaders! Resources:
Learn More about & apply for Leadership Thought Partners (apply before Dec. 1st for early bird pricing)
Connect with me:
Transcript
While it's not perfect, we offer this transcription by CastMagic for those who prefer to read or who are hearing impaired.
Teri Schmidt [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to Strong Leaders Serve. Today is a little different. I'm the one getting interviewed. One of my favorite people, Lauren Rabin, senior manager at JetBlue Airways, is here to ask me questions that give you a little bit of a behind the scenes at Strong Leaders Serve. We'll talk about the origin story for my definition of leadership, common misconceptions that I see among leaders, the value of community and helping leaders thrive, and much more. Let me know what you think. It definitely was a little bit different being on the other side of the mic. Alright.
Teri Schmidt [00:00:34]:
Let's get into the conversation. I'm Teri Schmidt, executive and leadership coach at Strong Leaders Serve, where I partner with compassionate, driven leaders and their teams to turn potential into performance. And this is the Strong Leaders Serve podcast. Well, Hey, Lauren. Thanks so much for doing this today. This is a little bit different for me. I prefer listening to others as opposed to speaking about myself and and my vision, which probably sounds a little strange coming from someone who hosts a podcast. But I'm excited to do this today because I have heard from some listeners that they would like to learn a little bit more about me, and I can't think of anyone other than you that I would love to have ask me questions.
Lauren Rabin [00:01:38]:
Well, thanks so much for the opportunity, Teri. Thanks for jumping in the hot seat, not just for me, but also for your listeners. I know it's going to be exciting to chat a little bit about your definition of leadership and kind of your experiences that have led you to that too. So really excited to
Teri Schmidt [00:01:54]:
to be a part of this. Yeah. Definitely. And, you know, hopefully, it ends up not just being about me as well. Hopefully, if you're listening, you can grab something out of this that you can take and apply right away to your leadership as well. So that's that's my hope for the session today, and I look forward to getting right into it. So let's go for it.
Lauren Rabin [00:02:16]:
Awesome. Well, thank you, Teri. You know, you've talked about this on on the podcast a lot, but your definition of leadership is courageously using your talents to make a way for others to courageously use theirs. I'd love to hear about what experiences have shaped this definition and how does that really drive the work that you're doing right now.
Teri Schmidt [00:02:35]:
Yeah. Thanks for asking. You know, I kinda split that into 2 parts. So the underlying assumption for that first part, the courageously using your talents, is the assumption that everybody has unique talents. Everyone has potential that they can contribute to the world and and help others thrive with that. The thing is the leader has to understand that not only for their team members, but also for themselves. And sometimes that can be the trickiest understanding to really internalize. And that came really early in my life.
Teri Schmidt [00:03:12]:
I like to give credit for that to my parents. My mom, I've told this story before, but she was an elementary school teacher, and she was that kind of teacher that she would befriend the student who probably the teacher at the grade level before her said, you know, this one's gonna be a problem for you. This student is always a troublemaker, and my mom would just, you know, immediately befriend that student and have them thriving by the end of the year. And through watching that, I did get this deep seated belief that everybody has something to contribute to the world. And so from a very young age, that was part of what I believed. And then my parents also instilled in me a deep faith. And so I, again, very early learned and believed in the concept of a day, which is that every person has the image of God within them. And that needs to flow out in order for our world to be what it needs to be.
Teri Schmidt [00:04:15]:
Now I get challenged on that belief sometimes because people are like, did Hitler have the Imago day? You know, what about all these people who are causing such great harm? And do I believe that they were made in the image of God? And I would say yes. But for me, the great tragedy is that something is blocking that image from coming out and doing what it needs to do in order for that person to flourish, for their immediate family to flourish, for their community to flourish, and for the world to flourish. It's kind of a simplification, but I like to use the metaphor of a mountain stream. And I see the potential being the stream and it when everything is working as it should, it flows down and it nourishes all that it goes through. So, you know, flowers are growing. Grasses are growing as this mountain stream flows down the mountain. So for someone where that's not happening, I see, you know, one of 2 reasons. One it's either disconnected from the source.
Teri Schmidt [00:05:19]:
And, again, for me as a person of faith, that source is a god who loves us so immensely that he suffered everything that we could potentially suffer. You know? A humble god who isn't about success or power, but instead is about caring for those who are most in need. Being connected to that source for me in particular is critically important to be able to understand that I have talents and understand that other people have talents and have the courage to let those flow out. The other reason that sometimes that flow isn't happening is that the flow gets blocked. So that might be by, again, using the metaphor different boulders that get in the way. Now those boulders are usually put there for self preservation. They're put there sometimes just because we are employing self help mechanisms only for ourselves and not thinking about how we use that building up of ourselves to benefit our communities. So, you know, put your oxygen mask on first so that, what, you can help others.
Teri Schmidt [00:06:30]:
Right? So I think sometimes we get stuck in this situation where we're worried about putting our oxygen mask on and not thinking about what the purpose of putting that oxygen mask on is. And then when that happens, when if you think of, like, a mountain string that gets kind of plowed up, it becomes stagnant. It becomes stinky. It becomes instead of nourishing, it becomes destructive. So that gets us to the second part of the definition. I apologize. I know this is a long answer, but a lot of thought has gone into it, and it's critical to the work that strong leaders serve us. The second half of the definition is to make a way for others to courageously use theirs.
Teri Schmidt [00:07:13]:
Like I mentioned is is about it flowing out. And so what I love to do is work with leaders to first help them understand their potential, and that is courageous work. That takes courage to really dig into what you have to contribute to this world, and I just love doing it. One of the best pieces of feedback I have ever gotten as a leader and a coach is that I help someone to believe that they were capable of more than they thought they were capable of. And that, you know, it still kinda makes me a little emotional even saying that, but that's that's the first piece of our work. And then the second piece is just examining what's blocking that potential from flowing. Sometimes it's internal, sometimes it's beliefs that people have about themselves or others. Sometimes it's external.
Teri Schmidt [00:08:08]:
Like, maybe they're experienced discomfort because they're going through a leadership or career transition. Sometimes it is dealing with personality conflicts. Sometimes it's figuring out how to motivate someone who is motivated very differently from how you're motivated. Because I know as leaders, we'd like to think, oh, you know, since this is what motivates me, this is what I should use to motivate my team. And, unfortunately, it's not always that easy. And then, of course, you know, managing up, managing down, meffeting across. There's so many challenges that leaders are going through, and those can be come boulders to them expressing their potential. And so that is how the definition of leadership really impacts the work that I do.
Teri Schmidt [00:08:52]:
Yeah.
Lauren Rabin [00:08:52]:
I thank you for sharing that. And, you know, those challenges that you mentioned, I think I've experienced as a leader every single one of those and probably many more and definitely understand the importance of having someone to help me work through those. So, you know, you talked a little bit about the work that you've done coaching leaders. Could you share some of the most meaningful moments that you've had in this area?
Teri Schmidt [00:09:15]:
Yeah. One of my clients, she, by her nature, was very direct, and she also really loved the idea of being a compassionate, empathetic servant leader. And so she thought that her directness was in a sense at odds with that goal of who she wanted to be as a leader. But through our coaching, through our conversations, through partnering together, she began to see that directness as more of an asset than a detriment to her being that compassionate leader. And she started to let her team see that directness, and they actually responded very favorably to how she was leading when she was being more authentically herself. And the best thing, the most meaningful moment was when she came back and she said, you know, Teri, I feel liberated. I feel like I no longer have to hold back who I naturally am, and my team is benefiting because of it. So that was, again, an a moment that still makes me a little bit emotional.
Teri Schmidt [00:10:22]:
And there is another situation with the client where she thrived throughout her career, excelled throughout her career using a very collaborative style of leadership. And she was now in an executive role and was getting some pressure to be a little bit less collaborative. And I think it was said to her almost that she should make people mad in meetings instead of trying to get a consensus or or trying to, you know, get everyone on board with her vision, which was one of her skill sets and one of the skill set that was so critical to her getting to that level in her career. And so we work together, and we got to the place where she understood how she could still stay true to herself, how she could not necessarily just, you know, adhere to all the voices that were telling her that she needed to be a completely different person, but she could take what was strong about herself and her leadership and tweet that just so that it fit the situation a little bit better and do it in a way that was authentic to her. And her boss, and the people who were telling her that she needed to make people mad in meetings recognized it and appreciated the new approach that she was taking, and she was just thrilled that she didn't have to make a complete change in terms of who she was in order to effectively lead at that level.
Lauren Rabin [00:11:48]:
Think through those two stories that the the word that comes to mind is authenticity. Like, I I love that. I think a lot of times as a leader, you feel like you have to be someone you're not, but really being able to be authentically yourself and use those strengths that you have, it actually makes makes things a lot better. It it it actually helps versus, you know, having some idealized, vision of what a leader is. And I I think, you know, thinking through this, what are some common misconceptions about leadership that you encounter, and how do you help leaders reframe these ideas? You know, maybe one of them is that you have to be a certain way or you can't be yourself. But what are some things that that you'd come across in your work?
Teri Schmidt [00:12:33]:
Yeah. I mean, I think that that first one, you know, displayed very clearly in both those examples is that, you know, there is a way to still utilize your unique strengths, your unique talents no matter what level you're at. Yes. It's going to look different. But, no, you don't have to completely change who you are. And in fact, you're not gonna be effective if you completely change who you are because those talents, those strengths are what had made you effective to this point. And they're not gonna do it in exactly the same way moving forward, But holding on to that kernel and looking how that can manifest in a different way in different situations, is really important. Another one, I'll see this particularly for people who are in their first leadership position, but it's also a, recognition that if you don't have in your first leadership position and for some reason you get through it just fine, it could last all the way up to the executive level.
Teri Schmidt [00:13:37]:
And that is that, you know, it you really need to recognize the identity shift required with each transition and leadership. So from an individual contributor who was getting all of their credit for completing tasks, doing a really good job on work to becoming a leader. Success for you now is no longer about you being successful and you completing those tasks, but how you are motivating your team and developing your team to be successful in completing those tasks. And if you don't recognize that that is a bit of a loss, you won't make that change because you'll wanna go back to the comfort of feeling good of accomplishing of achieving and the quicker that you can recognize that and almost grieve it in a way the better, you know, another thing. Our my podcast, my business is called strong leaders serve, and sometimes I will run into leaders who think that they are serving their team when in reality, they're rescuing their team. And what I mean by that is anytime they see someone struggling with the task, they will jump in and complete it for them because they don't want their team member to have to go through that struggle, and they feel that they're serving them by doing that. But what they're really doing is they are, in a sense, creating a codependent culture on their team. They are making everyone dependent on their skill set instead of taking 45 minutes or whatever it takes to build up that person's skill level so that they can complete that task.
Teri Schmidt [00:15:18]:
So, yes, it may take a little bit longer in the short term, but huge benefits in the long term. And then you're not running around completing everyone tasks being completely burned out. So just that idea that strong leaders serve, they don't rescue. And then finally, you know, leaders put it all on themselves. You get in a leadership role, whether it's your first, second, third, and you think I have to come up with all the ideas. I have to make all the decisions on ideas. I have to motivate resources towards those ideas, and I really have to kind of try to be the lone ranger here. I'm all alone.
Teri Schmidt [00:15:55]:
I've gotta do it myself. I did that as a leader at times, and it's natural. But the quicker that leaders can realize the value of having a community of support around them can realize that it isn't about them doing it all themselves, about them being the hero, but instead it's about how do I shift my perspective to enable the team to do some of this work that I thought was my work with my direction and my guidance. The quicker they can make that shift, the better.
Lauren Rabin [00:16:29]:
I think that's definitely a common challenge with leaders. We we do put a lot on ourselves, and it it is hard to feel like you have so much that you need to do. And then you know the importance because you you instill that in your team of focusing on their own development and making sure that they're progressing, in their career. So what advice do you have then for busy leaders who feel like they may not have the time to invest in their own coaching or their own growth?
Teri Schmidt [00:16:57]:
Yeah. I've I've been there. It's very common particularly, you know, the the clients I see, the the women and men that I interact with, they are compassionate and they are driven, and they are high achieving. And what comes along with that again is the I can do this, which is great, which is great because I cared deeply about my team when I was leading. Now I would do everything I could to up my skill set in terms of listening to webinars, trying to read books, listening to podcasts. I'm a learner, so that's a fun thing for me to do, and I saw it as value to my team. But there just wasn't enough time, you know, to make any significant progress. There wasn't enough time to get the level of development that I wanted to.
Teri Schmidt [00:17:49]:
I was also extremely fortunate in that I had wonderful leaders who I, you know, would mentor me and would regularly hold developmental conversations with me. But I have to say, now that I have had a coach, multiple coaches, there is something different about how fast you can come to solutions and to growth when you have a partner who really has no stake in the game. So, yes, I I could talk to my leaders and I did talk to my leaders and they mentored me. But once I got to interact with someone who had no stake in the game, other than caring about my development, Lauren, I can't tell you how fast things changed. Like I have situations, challenges that I've been thinking about for years. And in 1 50 minute session, it was in a sense solved. And I knew what the next steps were. And I'm not exaggerating.
Teri Schmidt [00:18:45]:
I'm not just saying that because I'm a coach, I've experienced it myself, and I was amazed. And I wish I would have done it sooner because I can only imagine the impact that it would have had on me, how much easier it would have made things for me, and the impact that it would have had on my team and other leaders around me. So I would say that, yes, it takes some time out of your schedule to meet with a coach. But the time that you are going to save in not ruminating on things and not continually trying to figure things out on your own and the time with which you can come to a solution, you might not think you have time. But if you can think of that time you're going to save, it makes a lot of sense. Yeah.
Lauren Rabin [00:19:30]:
Absolutely. I know I've experienced that in some of my work with you, just having that moment when it's it's something you've been struggling with for a long time or you've been dwelling on and then being able to just, you know, through through how you ask the questions and and get me to realize what actually the issue that I thought I was dealing with is not the issue at all. It's actually something else, and and being able to solve that together is invaluable, and it's absolutely worth whatever time I put into it because it's it's it's almost instantaneous. You know? It's like we we have the discussion, and I feel like, oh, I hadn't thought of it that way, and this is how I can actually progress through this issue versus just dwelling on it and seeing that it's definitely been invaluable.
Teri Schmidt [00:20:19]:
Yeah. I'm so glad to hear that. And I would you know, just one more note about that. I would say, you you may think anyone can coach you. There there is a certain skill set and a certain approach. And so if you do end up looking for a coach, do look to someone who has been trained, who knows how to hold that space for you, who knows when to dig in and shift your perspective through questions who, you know, maybe has been trained in neuroscience or other sciences that help them to understand how to effectively partner with you to bring those new insights and new awareness.
Lauren Rabin [00:20:57]:
So going back to, what you've talked about, I feel like you've really emphasized the importance of community for leaders. Why is having community so crucial, especially for those in leadership positions?
Teri Schmidt [00:21:12]:
I think community in all its forms right now in our times is incredibly important and overlooked. I think we we all feel we're very connected via social media, but are probably the most disconnected we've been in a long time because that service level connection is kinda giving us the idea that we don't need that deeper level connection. And so as I think about why it's important, there are really three things that having a supportive community can do for you. Those are resilience, growth, and adaptability. So if we look at resilience, everyone talks about how lonely their ship can get, and it can. Particularly, if you are in an underrepresented group. Back to that woman executive, she said, you know, I asked her if she had any examples of women that she admired that she could learn from. And she said, no.
Teri Schmidt [00:22:04]:
You know, I I look around, there's no one that I can learn from because I don't feel like they are in the same situation that I'm in. Most of them are men have come up with different styles of leadership. So it's really difficult to find those examples. So in terms of resilience, having a community can really provide a respite for you, especially if it's a supportive community of people who are going through similar challenges as you. And you can just go there and, you know, especially if they don't know your anyone in your organization or have any stake in the politics of the game or anything like that, having a place where you can just kinda go and let your breath out and say, I'm having this challenge. You know, what what do you all think about it? You know, what what have you done? What can you do? That can really help you to be more resilient because it can help you when you have those challenges to bounce back because in a sense, you feel these people behind you supporting you. And then in terms of growth, it can really help, again, that community of people behind you. Maybe you want to try something out, try out the use of a new skill, but you want to get some validation of that idea before you put it into the real world.
Teri Schmidt [00:23:27]:
And so having a community of support can really provide a place where you can validate those ideas, and it can also provide some accountability for you. When we are going out of our comfort zones, you know, our comfort zones, we all have neural pathways in our brains that are well formed because we know when one things one things happens, this is how we respond. Maybe we wanna try to shift that because we wanna grow. In order to do that, in order to kinda shift and build that new neural pathway, you really need some accountability so that you get the practice in that you need to get in in order to make that a new habit. So having a community can really help with growth. And then finally, adaptability. Because you are a community of different people with different strengths, different approaches, you can get exposed to many different ways of approaching a situation that maybe you haven't thought of. And especially in our world where everything's changing and you're not gonna, you know, solve something once and then be able to do that over and over again.
Teri Schmidt [00:24:35]:
Having those different perspectives in a community can help you to be more adaptable as a leader.
Lauren Rabin [00:24:42]:
We've talked about something new that you have coming up that I I know you're really excited about. I'm very excited about, especially when it comes to building a community. Can you tell us more about Leadership Thought Partners and the role that it plays in building this community for leaders?
Teri Schmidt [00:24:58]:
Yeah. I am so looking forward to this. It's launching this January. Leadership thought partners is going to be a group. We're going to set it up as a group of no more than 8 people. So you really get to establish that community, and we're bringing leaders together for at least 6 months. So, again, that community is full of trust. You're building those deep relationships.
Teri Schmidt [00:25:23]:
And we are learning not by me just presenting something and and telling you something that might work in your situation, but instead through case based learning. And what I mean by that is either one of the leaders will bring a challenge that they are experiencing, and the other leaders will coach them through resolving that challenge or better understanding that challenge. Or if no leader has a challenge for that particular month, I have cases that have been built dealing with the most common leadership challenges that we can work through as a group. I mentioned before that respite. Okay? This is meant to be exactly that for busy leaders. The prep work takes no more than 15 minutes. We meet once a month. During the lunch hour is when our first group is gonna meet, and then as we have more groups, we'll likely have alternate times that they can meet.
Teri Schmidt [00:26:24]:
But I think the the potential for all different types of leaders where you whether you are someone who just got promoted into a leadership role, you are going to see the benefit because you have these others who have been leading for a while, and you can bring your challenges in a nonthreatening environment that you don't have to worry that it shows that you don't know what you're doing because you're new. Because, again, they don't really have a stake in the game other than supporting you and and coaching you through that. Or maybe you're an experienced leader who's been doing it for a little while and you're like, I don't like this mid level. Like I have to manage up. I have to manage down. My responsibilities keep growing because the workforce is shrinking, and I don't know what I'm doing. And I'm exhausted. This provides a place for you to continue to learn, to continue to grow in a supportive environment, but also get that energy from helping others.
Teri Schmidt [00:27:22]:
I don't know about you, but I know when I'm struggling with something, if I can help someone else and feel like I've had a positive impact that immediately gives me a burst of energy and positivity for dealing with the challenges in my own life. And then for those of you who are at the more senior levels, again, having having that hit of energy from helping others, but also bringing forth those challenges, you know, maybe you're in a situation now where you've always thrived by knowing what everyone thought about everything and and getting everyone on board. And now you can't do that anymore because you don't have direct access to, for example, the frontline employee. But how you deal with those struggles and having an opportunity to bring that forth to the group and and talk about that in a supportive environment. I I know that it is gonna be incredibly beneficial, and I can't wait to work with all the compassionate driven leaders who are going to be part of it. And to take my skill set in coaching, help others learn some of those techniques while we're helping each other learn and grow through these challenges. So really excited about it.
Lauren Rabin [00:28:34]:
So how do we get involved? Where do we where do we sign up?
Teri Schmidt [00:28:38]:
Yeah. So if you are interested, all you have to do is go to our website, strong leaders serve.com. The process, because we want to keep this to people who are one aligned with our view of leadership. If you're, you know, all about command and control and, you know, just in leadership because you want the title, probably not the best place for you. But also who are eager to learn and grow, and finally who are eager to contribute their talents to the group. Because we wanna keep it to people who fit that description. It's a little bit of a process, not a long one, but there is a a very short application or interest form to fill out. And then after that, you'll automatically be directed to schedule a 15 minute conversation with me.
Teri Schmidt [00:29:26]:
And we'll get you all set up, but you can find out the information again at strongleaderserve.com/ltp.
Lauren Rabin [00:29:35]:
Great. I'm definitely excited for the for the leadership thought partners in January. I will be there, and I'm excited to see who else joins, from from the listeners. We started off this conversation by by taking a look at
Teri Schmidt [00:29:49]:
what experiencing experiences in your past kind of led you
Lauren Rabin [00:29:49]:
to this definition of leadership. I'm experiences in your past kind of led you to this definition of leadership. I wanna shift it a little bit to looking towards the future. So as you look ahead, Teri, what are some of your biggest goals or dreams that you have for the future of your work and the impact that it have on leaders?
Teri Schmidt [00:30:08]:
Yeah. You know, for me, it's it's really about 1 leader at a time. And as I think about the clients I've had and the way that they have been able to impact those around them. I am just focused on helping one leader at a time recognize their potential, develop that potential so that they have the courage to use it for the benefit of others. If we can do that, it's going to have a ripple effect. And everyone talks about the corporate environment as being kind of this energy draining, soul sucking environment that they just wanna get through their workday and then get to their real life after that. And I just think that's such a waste. You know? What what would it be like if those thousands of hours that we spend at work in our lifetime? What if those hours were instead dedicated to helping people thrive? Helping us to thrive so that we can help others to flourish.
Teri Schmidt [00:31:11]:
You know? What what if it was a place of growth? And, yes, I'm sure it would still have its challenges, but was somewhere that you could get energy and you could feel fulfilled. And so my mission really is to do that one later at a time.
Lauren Rabin [00:31:26]:
I love that. That that's great. So looking farther ahead, in the future, Teri, what do you want your legacy to be?
Teri Schmidt [00:31:33]:
Lauren, one of my things is is life is short, and I've been I've been writing poems about that since I was, like, 8, but it it particularly was was hammered home. I lost both my parents about 15 years ago now within a span of 8 months. And since then, I've been pretty hyper focused on being intentional with my time and how I am contributing to others. So my hope would be that my legacy would be that people would say because of interacting with me, they better knew their value and what they had to contribute to the world and how they could contribute that for the betterment of other people. And so if if I can do that just again for 1 leader, I will feel that I have met my goal, but I would love to do it for many more leaders.
Lauren Rabin [00:32:26]:
Absolutely. So, Teri, just to close this out, I'd love to hear if you have something to say to those compassionate driven leaders. What's that one piece of advice that you'd want them to hear?
Teri Schmidt [00:32:39]:
Yeah. It's back to what we said before. Don't try to do it alone. Find at least one person who helps you further explore what your potential is and reminds you of it when times get tough, reminds you that you have that within you and makes the outflow of that potential a little bit easier. So find that person or those people that can keep you on track with that, and you will be set up well.
Lauren Rabin [00:33:06]:
Teri, thank you for being that person for me. I like, it has been really wonderful having your guidance and support, and I am just excited to see where you go with with your coaching so you can also spread that to others as well. So thank you for for being that, and also thank you for the time today. This this has been great. Thanks for being the hot seat and and, you know, letting me ask you all the tough questions.
Teri Schmidt [00:33:33]:
Of course. Of course. Well, yeah, I'll I'll try to leave without, getting too emotional about it, but thank you for your kind words as well and and for being willing to put me in the hot seat even if I was slightly unwilling.
Lauren Rabin [00:33:47]:
Absolutely. I'm always here for that.
Teri Schmidt [00:33:50]:
Well, I hope you enjoyed that, and you'll heed my advice and find at least one person or a community that helps you to be more resilient, to grow, and to be more adaptable as a leader. And if leadership thought partners sounds intriguing, check out the details at the link in the show notes. We currently have early bird prices going on until December 1st. Spots are starting to fill up. So if you're interested, go apply today before the hectic holidays get here. And until next time, lead with this quote from Helen Keller in mind: "Alone, we can do so little. Together, we can do so much."
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